"It’s the most wonderful time of the year…"
Just like the famous song by Andy Williams… It’s Christmas, and everybody is expecting this time of the year to be the best. Well, as for me, this year is quite different. I quit my job, I am not proud of it but I am happy that I did it. There were just those moments where I really wanted to get out of there and try to be myself. I have this kind of personality where I prefer to be left alone than to be with someone who irritates me. But I realize that these people, I mean the difficult ones, are somehow those that made me who I am today. They simply brought out the wisdom that I haven’t felt ever since. Even my body almost gave up (imagine being sick every month!) and I knew that I was going to be in a full state of depression if I allowed myself to get affected with all the shitty things that bugged me during those times that I was there…
Just to be clear, I did not hate that job, I didn’t. But it was just too much. For two and a half years I had to deal with a lot of bad stuff every single day. I am fully aware of the stress and pressure that is attached with it, but there was certainly a time where I just couldn’t take it anymore… Everyday I kept on contemplating about the practicality of my decision to resign. Of course, I was also thinking about my future. I want to live without asking money from my parents, I want to have a stable job, I want to have a life where I make my own decisions. But I chose to leave because if I stay there longer I just might not learn how to be me again… I might start hating the world and I do not want that to happen.
So now that I am officially resigned, I am trying to understand every bit of those moments and I am making sure that it won’t happen again if I find another job. I still acknowledge all of the advice and experiences that I got from my superiors, my co-workers, even from the students and their parents. They treated me well, at least in front of me. Some have been honest, some were modest, some were decent, and some were just being nice for the sake of “pakikisama.” I have been thinking of leaving the job for the good reasons, and well, I left for the appropriate reason. I just hope that my successor would be able to handle that job, and I wish her all the luck.
It’s Christmas, I’m unemployed, but I am happy. I just have to finish my graduate school stuff and finally have a better job or probably a new career path… :D